Alyssa

8:08 AM

I wake up in bed. My boyfriend, Aidan, has turned off the alarm for the last time, telling me it’s time to get up. I am incredibly sleepy. He goes to shower while I check my phone. Aidan softly whistles to himself while getting ready, but I can’t make out the tune. We swap places; I go get ready in the bathroom while he makes the bed and does the dishes from the night before. Today is Ren Faire day! We bought the tickets yesterday on a whim after realizing this was the only weekend for the next month that we both had zero other plans. Adulthood is like that.

9:08 am

We stop at Essen bakery on the way to meet George and Julianna. I get a regular bagel with scallion and Aidan gets a strawberry danish. We have time to kill so we stop in Rite Aid and grab some drinks.

9:50 am

We stop at Dickinson Square Park for some dog watching. We judge people based on how much they match their dog. There are some strong contenders. I want to stay longer to watch more dogs, but Aidan says we should walk over, and assures me there will be plenty of dog and people watching at the fair.

10:20 am

We reach George and Julianna’s place. Julianna lets me borrow some renaissance appropriate garb, like a flowing skirt and orange corset top, as well as a vintage gold belt decked out with gems. My Harry styles merch is not very “ye olde”. Aidan and Julianna show me their new stickers for their shop, False Night (@false.night.shop).

12:00 pm

We reach the PA ren faire and immediately go to the bathroom. I see a woman with horns and she takes too long to wash her hands. We walk around and see a unicorn booth. It costs money to take a picture so I take one from afar. Everyone wants food and beer, so we split up in pursuit.

1:21 pm

We want food and beer. Aidan goes to get a sandwich while I go to round up drinks. I get a turkey leg for the tradition of it, as well as a Pilsner. Aidan gets a sandwich and a Gold. We eat at a tall table surrounded by yellowjackets. As promised, I see a never ending parade of people and dogs to watch. Two Irish Bloodhounds are the sight of the day.

2:45 pm

After food, we head to the joust. We’re told that we are to root for the “good guys” which is pretty disappointing. My boss texts me to post something to Instagram, but I have no service to reply. Aidan buys me a rose and I find this very sweet. We watch the joust, and all find ourselves rooting for the bad guy, specifically “Sir Lilith.” They tell us to come back at 7 to see who will win a battle to the death. We agree that we will not. 

4:05 pm

We stop at a place called Perth Pewter. Aidan looks at the miniatures for a long time. He’s a nerd.

4:16 pm

My feet hurt so bad, so I sit at an acrobatic performance. She talks more than she does acrobatics, and once she starts setting the hoop on fire, Aidan is done with his miniatures. I return to meet him. We walk around more and I buy a tiny lemon plate. He buys us another round of drinks, including water. My body feels crazy, but I’m having fun, so I soldier on.

6:15 pm

We meet up with George and Julianna at the exit. We take a few pictures and run to pee before we hit the road again. Aidan, ever thorough, wants to hit the gift shop for the winery where the event is held. The most interesting thing we find is what looks like a wine bong, but everyone is too beat to say much about it. We head to the car.

7:03 pm

We stop for Sonic. There’s a lengthy discussion about which fast food place has the best burger, which leads to a discussion about which places can even be classified as fast food. I can’t get into it again by writing it out. 

8:32 pm

I am so nauseous and have a massive headache. We must have talked but I have no idea what about, so just know I was glancing at the ETA every minute and trying not to puke.

9:10 pm

We arrive home. I tell Aidan that I feel terrible, and I head to the bathroom. I attempt to throw up. He pokes his head in to see me hunched by the toilet, frustrated and in pain. We talk a little bit before I return to bed, where he scratches my back until I fall asleep. I love him very much, and I do not trust sonic cheeseburgers anymore.