Deja

It’s 7:48 AM, my boyfriend just left for work. We were supposed to start the new year out strong with a mini workout but of course neither of us really felt up to it. The only reason why I stayed up is bc I have a shit ton of work to catch up on. I do freelance web design and I’m a brand manager for a brewery here in Philly and I’ve barely touched work since my bday Dec 18. So hopefully I can make some headway on the digital pile of websites I have to complete.

7:53 AM making my coffee

Grandma got me this nifty water boiler situation. Makes my coffee workflow seamless. 

For my sanity, here’s my to-do list today: 

• Brain wake up/exercise (like a brain exercise not actually exercise lmfao)

• Go to CVS in fairmount to pick up pictures 

• Go to target for funsies? I feel like there’s something I need there (even if I don’t know what it is yet) 

• Work on portfolio website 

• [Work on client 1 website] can be moved to the evening 

• Consulting session at 2 (i also offer creative strategy sessions, I have one today)

• Therapy at 4 

• FINISH client 2 website

Card of the day - 4 of cups

Contemplation in a safe space in order to re-center and get clear on what’s going on. Allowing my mind to slow down before it starts spiraling again (I’ve been on the verge of spiraling these past two days, it’s my own damn fault but I’m trying my hardest to not let myself go to far. This card talks about letting go of situations that can’t be changed and it’s calling me to re-center bc I can’t change what happened, you just have to become ok with it. 

Deck is from Uusi Design Studio

9:53 AM 

worked on some art. Trying to figure out how to rework an affirmation/mantra poster I made a while back. 

Before

After

The after is where I’m at now. 

I’m trying to get more comfy putting myself out there. I didn’t go to art school nor did I take an art class, other than art history (one of my deepest college regrets) so I never experienced getting critiques and other ppls opinions. I feel like I’m just flying solo. But that’s why I post, to see what folks like and what they don’t. I’ve gotta get feedback one way or another!

12:13PM

I’ve spent the morning working on my portfolio website and stalking the CEO of the company who’s course I’m taking. I’ve gotta stop soon to go pick up my pictures but I can’t help myself from digging deeper and deeper 😭 for the sake of inspo! I tell myself as I procrastinate lmfao

Here’s what my hero/main section looks like so far:

I’ve got a long ways to go so check back in, in like a month lmfao  

I’m like 20 mins of work away from finishing this website and getting PAID but my (potential) undiagnosed adhd is winning and I literally cannot bring myself to finish this. FUCK. Money, Deja. MONEY! 

1:22PM

I finished 🕺🏽 onto prep for my consultation 

3:16PM 

Just finished my consult 

what’s up w these balloons? 

Now it’s time for my daily Get Out of the House and get some steps in walk! 

3:49PM

Saw the time and had to turn around bc I have therapy!!! But first, Sham Cow!!

4:54PM 

just had therapy - I need to plan a funeral

I’ve been holding onto a deep resentment and anger. It runs deeps. And it hurts real bad. It’s been eating me alive and I told my therapist that one of my 2024 goals is to find a way to release these feelings. They’ve consumed and controlled me for far too long. It’s time to lay them to rest. So tonight (or over the next few days) I will be planning a Funeral For My Feelings. I’m gonna ritualize the hell out of this, be thorough with my intentions, make it sacred. 

I’m lowkey a very magical person, I don’t really talk about it publicly//when I do ppl don’t really know what I’m talking about, unless they know. But practice astrological magic and I think it’s time for the divine to swoop in and lend their support.

Dang I think this is what my card of the day was talking about. 

5:14 PM 

now do I eat dinner? And ditch my plans to pick up my pictures at CVS?

5:33PM 

Not going to CVS. Couldn’t decide what to eat for dins so I’m laying in my bed scrolling on social till I can’t take my hunger any longer. But I did find some tweets that are sticking with me for the year. I’m gonna post them on insta. 

Side note - I’m also trying to release my desire to be perfect//have an ✨aesthetic✨ on insta. Who cares anymore. Like I’m 26 I’m gonna post whatever the fuck I want. Who cares if I get 20 likes? IT’S JUST INSTAGRAM! It is just a website that will most likely be obsolete in 20 years lmfao (don’t hold me to that). 

Hunger has become unbearable. Gonna heat up the leftover black eyed peas my poppop made for the new year. 

6:39PM 

Ate dinner. Just leftovers, not the black eyed peas tho. I had mashed potatoes, string beans, rotisserie chicken, and leftover frozen stuffing from thanksgiving lmfao. A mini New Years feast! 

8:34PM 

Was supposed to do like 40 mins of work but I don’t think my brain will let me. It’s time to smoke weed and watch greys. If I get the urge at some point to work maybe I will but my dugout is staring me down, waiting to be lit. 

9:28 PM 

Stoned and feeling good. Just realized I haven’t been on tiktok all day. This feels like an accomplishment. 

Deja Lewis is a coffee obsessed 26 year old girl just trying to figure life out one day at a time. You can find her on instagram @dejathejovian where she shares personal anecdotes as well as random bits of design work and astrology.