J

I woke up at 2 am, body and mind ready to begin the day. “Not yet” I think to myself before I slip back into sleep only to be reawakened two seconds later by my alarm.

625am.          635am.         645am

snooze.          snooze.        snooze.  

I pull off the covers and peel myself off my mattress. My husband is still snoring next to me. I put on pj's and open the door to our bedroom. Our cat comes barreling down the hallway, chirping his way to me. We do our little morning dance together where he weaves in and out of my legs and I try to not trip over him. I plug in our string lights, and the hallway becomes bathed in a warm ambiance. I rub Charlie Waffles behind his ears. He melts to the floor. A puddle of fur, purring like a car engine.

He had been sick over the weekend which required a trip to the pet urgent care and me wondering when exactly did pet care become a cog in the healthcare industrial complex machine and why the absolute hell was it so god damn expensive?!

This morning he seems to be back to his usual self. Even allowing me to rub his furry little belly before he jumps up to put my wrist in his mouth. 

For the next ten minutes I down a cup of coffee and scroll through Instagram. The next hour and thirty minutes is a flurry of activities:

Showered 

Breakfast made

Feed the cat

Fold a basket of clothes

Get dressed 

Getting our son up and ready for school 

Listen about Minecraft, answer questions. Sign a test packet.

Dry my hair

Pack my breakfast 

Kisses goodbye to everyone and I'm out the door; speed walking to the subway station.

No matter the preparation or what time I get up, I cannot seem to ever leave the house on time. There's just always so much to do.

 The morning is cool and crisp. I'm wearing my favorite scarf. Someone asked me for the time, “It’s 8:23” I say and then I am skipping down the subway steps.

The station is hot, hot. Like summer hot. It smells like urine. The odor assaults your mouth and nose. Which, I guess, is the price we pay for living in a city that does not provide folks with public bathrooms.

The subway car is crowded but lightens up after city hall. I find a seat and listen to Bonobo for the next 20ish minutes or so until my stop. 

I arrived at work and it's a heavy day. One of our clients has passed away overnight. it was expected, but it's still difficult. They were young and sweet and their loss is felt by all of us. 

In the past year, we've lost four clients and it always affects me more than I think it will.

I'm a caseworker at a nonprofit on a team of people and we collectively share a caseload. Our task is to provide people who are homeless with case management services while they wait to be housed through our organization. 

As a social worker it can be difficult working for a nonprofit. I'm learning that the issues we face are systems in systems in systems in systems and it can feel overwhelming, frustrating and annoying. My coworkers and the people we serve keep me coming back. I share space with seven people and each bring their own knowledge and expertise. It can sort of feel like the island is misfit toys. We get along and support each other. I adore each of them and am glad to know them all.

After morning meetings and catching up on notes I'm headed out today to do outreach.

Outreach is my favorite day. When we get a new client, they are often street homeless and we sometimes, but not all the time, get a vague physical description and an address of where they can be found. 

It looks something like this; “can be found at this park on the corner of this street and that street.” or “sitting outside this of this business on these days.” And then I go out and try and find them. 

Oftentimes they're difficult to find at first and it can take weeks. Many change locations and many more are forced to leave their spots (insert my many frustrations with our current mayor and her absolute disdain for people who are homeless.) 

…but today we aren't finding anyone new so I'll just be checking locations and offering any services or support needed.

I'm leaving the office and heading back to the subway station. This one smells like coffee and cheap weed. Honestly anything is better than piss.

When I take the subway I try to read. Lately I have been reading a book called “On Looking.” In it, the author writes about 12 different walks she takes around her block in NYC, each with a different professional who all offer different perspectives. I figure this book will come in handy from time to time. Philly can be gross and sometimes it's easy to focus on the negative. Especially if I am hungry or tired or generally feeling overstimulated. 

I ran around Center City from 1045am until 2pm and called it a day. I was done engaging with the public. 

My job can be emotionally and mentally exhausting. I often get asked what it is that I do to decompress. I'll cook or reach out to a friend. I run or cry or vent about it all.

(every company in the world should offer PAID mental health days along with sick and vacation pay). I also stress bake. Everyone knows that an emotional breakdown is better with a side of warm chocolate chip banana bread.

I sat on a bench and finished my $7 iced oat latte (no homeownership for this millennial) which ignited a spark and gave me back the will to live. Then I headed for the bus stop. While waiting for the 17 I thought, “shit, I forgot somebody.” They're near Rittenhouse Square. After searching for a while I decided to give up and try again next week.

As luck would have it, my husband Anthony was leaving a meeting and we walked toward home together. I had to run into Sprouts to pick up a few missing ingredients for dinner and so I kissed him on the corner and he headed to pick our son up from school. 

 As shopping while hungry goes, I bought many more things that I did not need. Including dairy free chocolate caramel candies and vegan peanut butter cups that I ate while walking home. 

I made it back before the dudes did and had some time to myself which was nice. The house was quiet and there was no one to talk to. Charlie Waffles and I laid on the couch together and it made me realize that this is another thing I do to decompress, be silent. 

After everyone came through the door the rest of the day was another blur of activity:

Homework 

Bath time 

Dinner started, fished and eaten.

Dishes cleaned

Charlie fed

Dessert

Getting the little dude ready for bed.

Books were read

Three favorite things

Night lights turned on.

Kisses goodnight.

“see you in the morning”

After this, the coffee was set up and I played with Cdubbs. 

I met Anthony on the couch and ate a bowl of grapes while I watched him play the new Zelda game and we caught up on our day.

We call them couch dates and it's one of my favorite parts of the whole day.

A little while later it's time for my own bedtime routine. Teeth brushed, lights out, covers drawn and I hope, fingers crossed, that I sleep through this night. 

J lives in South Philly with her family. She loves taking pictures while out and about and falls in love with every window cat she sees.