catch breath
wednesday morning
i woke up alone
the day has significance
because i used to listen to tarot readings
by a woman on youtube
who has an association with the number
717
as a sign
soulmates are coming together
i dont listen to tarot readings on youtube
anymore mostly
i didnt sleep well last night
because i was thinking in my sleep
i started stressing yesterday
about the reunion market
not being finalized
my cat is old and i start the day
googling how to know when
to euthanize a cat
it makes me feel better
because he has more
good days than bad
its 7am
im googling cat water fountains
its the last day
of the 90 degree heat wave
i think tomorrow should cool down
im expecting a job offer today
hopefully
i get ready to go to gilda
(pronounced jill-duh)
i work there for an hour
before meeting drew
to go over the books
i text shy a picture of
the pastel de nada im snacking on
because she told me she was
obsessed with them in portugal
but her response lacked enthusiasm
and im a little disappointed
after my meeting with drew
i work a few more hours on my laptop
i listen to conversations
the tables next to me are having -
a girl and a guy (both dressed like rock stars)
maybe on a {date} but the guy is talking
about how he sabotages everything
basically about how he is shitty to girls
i keep imagining telling her to run!
but its not my business and maybe
thats just her vibe
i think theyre just friends?
but maybe hooked up?
the guy makes the situation weird and sexualized
at one point she gets emotional saying
shes just so tired
two gen z girls talking about just one of them a lot
like the conversation is centered around her
her haircut, her crush, her $400 rug
and then a mature conversation that gives me hope
until one of them says "he had three interviews
and then they ghosted him" which i try not to take as
an omen
after getting my work done
i pop into trashed vintage
and meet the owner kelly
invite her to the reunion market
try on tops and a pair of shorts
im obsessed with finding shorts right now
because my waist has gotten 2 inches wider
austin calls me
when im about to bus home
i stop by staples and print fliers for the fest
when i get home i sit on my phone
until austin arrives
i have this theory that im more addicted
on days when i start my day on my phone
we walk to the dry cleaners in the heat
the conversation is a little empty
because its hot
ive been "fasting" so i tell austin i wont eat
but when he makes dinner i say i want some
and eat a small bowl of "mexican ramen"
on my phone again
rose is texting the market flier
and me and duncan are giving feedback
i explain to austin that the frustration i felt
about the market not being planned yet
has dissipated because of a conversation
i had with duncan that i really respected
and i told duncan that and he said in return
that it takes a special kind of person
to bring people and things together
and that im proud of that part of me
i tidy the pile of things i have on the kitchen table
that i dont know what to do with yet
i spread the pile into smaller piles across my apartment
in the general areas i think these things should go
austin explains how i engage with all my projects like that
doing a little here, walking back and forth, doing some there
that i have a bunch of projects going on all at once
catch breath is the founder of reunion poetry. reunion is a small press fest happening august 15th-18th in philadelphia. @coolkidsfriend @reunionpoetry
