Ebs Sanders
Easy to identify the best aspect of today before it begins: I’m off work. I have tons of crap to do but only want to do nothing, bask some.
I make the bed so I can lie back down, tidily. I’m on a Césaire kick, his collected, an unbelievable poet, one who doesn’t get talked about enough. The intro talks about how words could change grammatical categories, and, in a way, be relieved of any rigid function. I too would like to be relieved of any rigid function.
Here are the first two stanzas of one called Lay of Errantry:
Everything was ever torn
has been torn in me
everything that was ever mutilated
has been mutilated in me
in the middle of the plate stripped of breath
the cut fruit of the moon forever on its way
towards its other side’s contour to be invented
and yet what remains with you of former times
~
My girlfriend’s mom is undergoing her third knee replacement surgery today. Her parents tell her and her seven siblings that all updates will be shared exclusively on Facebook messenger. The surgery goes ok, everyone’s on Facebook, relieved.
Weather heads promised the end of a heat wave today, but it still feels pretty fucking gross out to me. Still, it’s not 90, so I head to Kinsessing Rec, home of four gorgeous basketball courts.The city recently tried to shut down the courts for “renovations” but the many people who frequent them threw a fit. The courts are still open.
In a group chat called neighbors to lovers pipeline, a text appears: “Selfie check y’all.” Kit is masked on the toilet, Dal and Digs are on the other side of our shared wall, Seana just woke up from a nap.
I startle in late afternoon lull, realizing I should start the beans. For most of my life, I ate canned beans. They’re easy. But lately I’ve gotten into dried beans, cooked slowly in broth flavored like beef or roasted garlic. The beans emit a flavorful broth when you cook them this way. Today I’m making lima beans which carry a reputation of being gross but are actually delicious. I mince garlic and onion, get them sizzling in olive oil, and throw in lima beans with enough beef broth to cover the beans by two inches. I bring the pot to a hard boil for fifteen minutes, then let it simmer for hours, alternating lid on and lid ajar. Jill makes rice. There’s leftover broth which I transfer to a saucepan and add cornstarch and some butter to make a sauce.
Our landlord the genius put the attic in the kitchen so cooking in the summer is a real sweat bath. Timing in cooking is not my strong suit. Everything’s ready ten minutes before my weekly meeting and I can’t skip this one. I turn my camera off and gobble the beans.
No relief like that of an hourlong meeting ending. I climb up on somebody’s roof in a way that is not safe and my girlfriend hates. I take a selfie with the moon which is indifferent.
After, Jill and I walk downstairs to take a night walk.
We head to Sunoco because baby needs a new elfbar.
I discover Most Stuf Oreos. Jill’s elated because they have mango peach, a flavor rarity at this Sunoco. We walk home. Her sister’s crashing at our place for a couple weeks. I read reddit in bed next to Jill. Not to be gross but we fall asleep holding hands.
Ebs is a poet and editor living in West Philly. They co-edit the tiny with Gina Myers. You can find them and the tiny on IG at @ebs______ and @thetinymag. You can see more of their work at eebbss.com.
