Vaughn
A little context and reflection before we get into it: I felt a little pressured to have like a “really good day” because I was doing this. Kinda felt like I was being watched even though I was going to be the one reporting what I did. It was a strange feeling. Maybe that’s some fear of being vulnerable and a desire to be good enough in others’ eyes. but this is an awesome project. I love being a small little life in a sea of others and getting to read little snapshots of others lives in the city is really cool!
Anyways, Saturday I came home from work so exhausted I initially just fell asleep on the bed in my work clothes. But after a short nap, I changed and actually went to bed around 9:30. I woke up around 6:30 but chose to stay dreaming on and off till around 8. I didn't want to leave this dream I was having about my family. In the dream it was a family gathering for Easter and my aunt Kristi responded with so much praise and love to her daughter Kat (in the dream very young) who had rearranged the mugs in the cabinet so their handles made hearts as a surprise. It was really beautiful and my sibling and I both held each other touched, heartbroken, and crying. I may have cried in real life too.
I kept replaying that loving encounter until hunger got the best of me and I had to get up. 8:00. I have "no food" left so I just have some plain naked toast. I say goodmorning to my turtles, Tycho and Ptolemy <3 Alexa starts my day off by playing Hoochi Daddy Season by Soupkoola lol. Did some chores around the house, laundry, changing water in the turtle tank, and saving the worst for last… the dishes.
I get dressed, looking pretty fly if I do say so myself (flower pants, big docs, a tan wool blazer, and my neon leather crossbody, very 70s-esque). I walk to the first unitarian church, it’s so windy but sunny out so I pretend I'm not even cold because it's SPRING. This is only my second week going; I made friends with this guy Lincoln at a bus stop and we got to talking and he invited me to the pagan potluck equinox celebration. Something compelled me to actually go and I'm glad I listened. Unitarianism, it turns out, is actually pretty rad. I should have guessed since I’ve previously attended punk and metal shows in their basement and a huge sober gay drag show in the sanctuary.
The service was titled “Save the World or Savor the World”. The notes I took were:
Sweatertooth - the phenomenon of having a gross film on your teeth that feels like sweaters after consuming something really sugary
Balance the bitter and the sweet
To deny either part is to risk being human
Humans are prone to forgetfulness. I need to be reminded of the love that holds us, in community, frequently.
Recommit to being broken hearted and open hearted.
The band played Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve
I stuck around for coffee and chatted with some familiar faces. I put my handprint on a banner that some folks are taking with them to the upcoming Coalition to Abolish Death By Incarceration Rally in Harrisburg.
Walked home along the river and took some scenic pictures with my new point and shoot film camera I got from a guy on FB. I recently made the switch to a dumbphone after getting so fed up with constantly scrolling and overall not being able to pull myself away from my phone. I felt so disconnected from my body, entirely connected and dependent, "always on that damn phone". So my Nokia 2780 flip now pairs with my mp3 player and camera. I feel empowered and present. honestly the best decision I've made for myself since getting sober in 2021. I thought it was just going to be a week break but I actually am loving it.
I listened to the Celtic Wanderers album by the Altramar medieval music ensemble. The neighborhood is in bloom with all the pink and white flowered trees and planted gardens coming up. It's very pretty and brings me joy. My own little garden in the back patio, the periwinkle has come up with tens of little purple flowers and the irises are coming up. I’m excited for them. They are generations passed down from my great grandmother. My father gave me some last year. (so pressures on to not fuck it up!)
Saw a flier on the way for a stoop sale going on across the street from me, so of course I walked over. Turns out my new neighbor friend was actually moving out that night but I stayed for a while and talked with her and her sisters and housemate. I now know Elaine lives across the street. And bought a cute sheer wavy shirt from her for $5. Made some food and chilled until work. Called and caught up with the homies Danny Sam and Jahnis. We talked about workaholism, our solar eclipse roadtrip plans, and being grateful for life.
Tried checking out the library but it was closed! I personally think the library should be open all weekend but alas. Took some shots of the Logan fountain and went to the academy of natural sciences that I've been meaning to check out... Now that I'm not scrolling in my freetime I'm finding there's a lot more time in my days to do the things I've been "meaning to do" for years. (They let me in for free because I work at another museum). I wandered around and listened to KD Lang. My favorite way to experience museums, lost in my own soundscape away from the childrens ruckus and shouting.
I was getting a bit overstimulated because I was so hot and overdressed but couldn’t leave because my brain said I had to see everything. So by the end of it i was pretty uncomfortable and my head hurt. Got an ice cream to help me feel better.
Walked home to decompress. Got dressed for work and thankfully made the 48 and walked the rest of the way to work. I'm an usher at the Kimmel Center and tonight was Temple’s Symphony Orchestra and Choirs’ annual concert. They were very good and me and Charlie and Ling expertly handled all the issues (and there’s always issues…). And the performers were very good too! They played Vaughan Williams' (tee-hee my name!) Dona Nobis Pacem and Brahms' Symphony No.1 Op 68. Always grateful to work in such a beautiful building, the immersive hub of Viñoly's architectural vision. My seat outside the door was basking in the light of the full moon perfectly framed between the skyscrapers and the glass walls.
Made the 32 home by 10:30. Moon was still out looking beautiful. Very tired. Scrolled on insta for a bit (against my recent efforts to NOT) but progress not perfection. I don't work tomorrow so I can sleep in.
LOVE,
Vaughn
Just for fun I asked chatgpt to make this post into a poem and here’s what it spit out. I think it's funny and cringy. I like seeing what a machine tries to make when you ask it to be creative. It's like an alien trying to masquerade as a human. Controversial opinion probably idk.
In Philadelphia's bustling streets, on March's twenty-fourth day,
Vaughn embarked upon his journey, with reflections to convey.
Anxiety crept, a sense of being watched, a weight to perform,
Yet through vulnerability's haze, his day would soon transform.
From weary slumber's grasp, he rose with dawn's gentle call,
Dreams of family and love, in their tender thrall.
A tearful memory of Easter morns, with hearts in cabinets found,
Emotions stirring deep within, in silence they did abound.
With turtles Tycho and Ptolemy, his morning did commence,
To the tune of Soupkoola's beats, a joyful recompense.
Chores like waves, he did ride, laundry, tank, and dishes,
Each task a tether to the day, as sunlight gently kisses.
Attired in fashion's flair, Vaughn stepped into the light,
His spirit lifted by the promise of a Sunday bright.
To Unitarian halls, he strode, a newcomer finding grace,
In messages of balance, and love's enduring embrace.
Coffee shared, banners raised, in solidarity they stand,
A community united, with justice close at hand.
Along the river's winding path, he captured nature's bloom,
With camera in hand, he froze time's sweet perfume.
Stoop sales and neighborly chats, a fabric tightly spun,
Connections made in passing, under the springtime sun.
Conversations with comrades, on life's winding road,
Reflections shared, in the shadow of work's heavy load.
Library doors closed, yet knowledge sought elsewhere,
Museums beckon with whispers, Vaughn's soul laid bare.
Lost in art's embrace, a sanctuary from the din,
Though discomfort lingers, ice cream soothes within.
At the Kimmel Center's gates, Vaughn takes his post,
Guiding patrons with care, the symphony's grand host.
Amidst the music's swell, he finds solace in the night,
Moonbeams dance upon his path, guiding homeward's flight.
In the quiet hours, as midnight's veil draws near,
Vaughn's journey finds its end, in rest without a fear.
With gratitude and love, he signs his tale complete,
A day in Philadelphia's life, a melody so sweet.
With love,
Vaughn
Vaughn is just 1 little dot in a mass of 1.5 million little dots all living here in Philly. He is a big nerd for science and music and an overall enjoyer of life and trying to figure it all out.
